Thanks for this video, Mike!

Tags: Funny Stuff

Some times, I can't help but laugh. Today I decided to enable Twitterific's neat little feature of updating my iChat status with whatever I tweet. It seemed like such a good idea, but in hindsight it wasn't. This tweet just happened to cut at the crucial point, and read in iChat:

Officially annoyed being unable to reproduce

Whoops. What was worse was the fact that I then laughed, and inadvertently said

It's been cut off by the looks of things

Now there's a slip to be proud of.... right?! Check the full copy out here.

This gem arrived in my inbox today. Google Map Directions from Manchester England to Vermont USA. OK, so it's an entirely unfeasible driving route (funny nonetheless), but the Google directions left something to be desired - Manchester -> Dover -> Calais -> Brittany. Then Swim Across the Atlantic Ocean (3,462 miles). I kid you not. At least it gives you a guide of where to do a running jump into the water.... Handy!

View it for yourself here. Thanks Mike!

This is just brilliant, It is, however, 1.6MB so be patient whilst the lightbox loads it!

Via David Chartier

Top Gear build their own space shuttle. Classic! Here's to hoping the YouTube police let it stay.....

It's good to see our country's finest brains are spending their University years making these:

Thanks Ross! If you're not sure what Facebook is, check out its Wikipedia entry :)

via TUAW

This is just brilliant! Joy of Tech: The iPhone

(Thanks Florian!)

This video was just too good not to post. Thanks Cara.

HAEV U SEN THES GREAT AOLER TRANSLA2R?!?!!!! OMG WTF ITS AEWSOM3!!!!1!11 OMG WTF IT MAEKS U SEM LIEK UR 12 YEARS OLD

VIA!!!1!!111 WTF DA AEWSOME JON GRUBR!1111 OMG LOL

(translation: Have you seen this great AOLer translator? It's awesome. It makes you seem like you're 12 years old!

via the awesome John Gruber.)

Thanks Larry!

The members of the orchestra are a funny lot..... read on for the post!



Read it here

This is just a truly hilarious interview with the genius behind Ali G and Borat... enjoy it (unless Viacom takes it offline first!). Warning: It will have you in fits of laughter!

Jeees. This is too good not to post a link to!

Entry Exam For The BBC Symphony Orchestra-Viola Players

The pass mark is 10% but be careful—over 45% and you are overqualified.

1. Who wrote the following:
a) Beethoven's Symphony No. 6
b) Faure's Requiem
c) Wagner’s Ring Cycle

2. Tchaikovsky wrote 6 symphonies including Symphony no. 4. Name the other five.

3. Explain "counterpoint" or write your name on the reverse of the paper.

4. Which of the following would you tuck under you chin?
a) a timpani
b) an organ
c) a 'cello
d) a viola

5. Can you explain "sonata form"? (Answer yes or no.)

6. Which of the following literary works was made the subject of a Verdi opera?
a) First among Equals — Jeffrey Archer
b) Macbeth - William Shakespeare
c) Noddy and Big Ears — Enid Blyton

7. Domenico Scarlatti wrote 555 harpsichord sonatas for which instrument?

8. Arrange the following movements in order of speed, starting with the slowest first
a) Quickly
b) Slowly
c) Very Quickly
d) At a Moderate Pace

9. Where would you normally expect to find the conductor during a performance?

10. Which of the following wrote incidental music to A Midsummer Night's Dream?
a) Des O'Connor
b) Mickey Mouse
c) Felix Mendelssohn Bartholdy
d) Terry Wogan

11. Which of the following is the odd one out?
a) Sir Colin Davis
b) Sir Andrew Davis
c) Sir Peter Maxwell Davies
d) Desmond Lynham

12. Arrange the following words into the name of a well known Puccini opera.
Boheme, La

13. Within five minutes, how long is Chopin's Minute Waltz?

14. From which of the following countries did Richard Strauss come?
a) Venezuela
b) Sri Lanka
c) Germany
d) Japan

15. For what town were Haydn's "Paris " Symphonies written?

16. Which is the odd one out?
a) Fantasy overture Romeo and Juliet - Tchaikovsky
b) Romeo and Juliet — Beriioz
c) Romeo and Juliet Ballet — Prokofiev
d) 10 Green Bottles — anon.

17. From which song do the following lines come?
"God save our gracious Queen, Long live our noble Queen."

18. Spell the following musical terms.
allegro
rallentando
crotchet
pizzicato
intermezzo

19. Tosca is a character found in which Puccini opera?

20. Arrange the following letters to form the abbreviation for a well known British broadcasting corporation.
C, B, B.

Thanks Aimee!

This incredible video is just amazing. I have no idea how long it must have take these guys to make this video, but it's just left me thinking WOW!

Check it out here.

According to Forbes, the 'Secret Diary of Steve Jobs' has got Silicone Valley in an uproar. And perhaps quite rightly. It's a very, very clever and highly amusing diary that seems to come out with more and more great entries. So many entries in fact that Forbes writer Rich Karlgaard is asking 'Who IS the Secret Steve Jobs'. Head on over and places your guesses....!

Perhaps come WWDC's Keynote all will be (or have been) revealed!

Digg The Forbes Story

In other Apple news, it appears that Apple's OS X Leopard logo has been snapped in the Moscone Center. I like the look of it, so let's hope there's more to it than just the glamourous logo!

This one's been going around the Apple web a few days now, however the posts on the Secret Diary of Steve Jobs Aged 51 1/2 have just caused me to collapse with laughter. A little blunt at times, it's certainly a funny read. Comments such as '.Mac is having some issues.... and you wonder why I'm using Blogger' and more are all found here. I'd highly recommend you put it into your RSS reader!

Someone had far too much time on their hands and drew up these rather funny sketches. I think they're priceless! I apologise if you find them offensive - they're not intended to offend!

As the Germans Saw it:


As the French saw it:


As the Italians saw it:


As the Americans saw it:


As reported by the press:

Firstly an Apple one ;-)

And secondly, one entitled 'How to Reduce Complaints at work":

Thanks to Cara for this!

THIS DEPT OF TRANSPORT INITIATIVE HAS BEEN RE-LAUNCHED MAY 2006

Due to the nature of the quality of driving in England the Department of Transport has now devised a new scheme in order to identify poor drivers and give good drivers the opportunity to recognise them whilst driving. For this reason as from the middle of May 2006 those drivers who are found to be driving badly which includes:

-overtaking in dangerous places;
-hovering within one inch of the car in front;
-stopping sharply
-speeding in residential areas;
-pulling out without indication;
-performing U turns inappropriately in busy highstreets
-under taking on motorways
-taking up more than one lane in multi lane roads

These drivers will be issued with flags, white with a red cross, signifying their inability to drive properly. These flags must be clipped to a door of the car and be visible to all other drivers and pedestrians. Those drivers who have shown particularly poor driving skills will have to display a flag on each side of the car to indicate their greater lack of skill and general lower intelligence mindset to the general public. Please circulate this to as many other motorists as you can so that drivers and pedestrians will be aware of the meaning of these flags.

Add this to the "TTIBLDM" list [To Try if Broken Limbs Don't Matter List]. On Easter Sunday, a crowd gathers to observe the fun-looking BYOBW race [Bring Your Own Big Wheel Race] on San Francisco's Lombard Street [that's the pink curly one if you've ever played Midtown Madness 2]. There's a great video to watch on the site below, but be warned that loud audio is played upon visiting, so once at this site, look for the pause button below the white BYOBW logo on a white T-shirt.

Bring Your Own Big Wheel Race

What's it all about? Simply turn up with a plastic-wheeled childrens sit-on car/tricycle and drive down Lombard Street on it and hope that neither you or the toy gets broken in anyway! This years race was held in modestly wet weather, and looks like a great and crazy time was had!

Listening to ''Hung Up'', by Madonna

I received one of the funniest forwards in a long time a few days ago about the Thames whale. Click here for the image with Lightbox goodness.

This has had me in fits of laughter all evening!

- You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

- Jack Bauer makes Onions cry.

- If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Myers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

- If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

- Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

- Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

- Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

- Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

- 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

- Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days. Wait, that is a real fact.

- Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

- Jack Bauer let the dogs out.

- Superman wears Jack Bauer pyjamas.

- Jack Bauer's favorite colour is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

- Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

- Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

- When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

- Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

- The quickest way to a man's heart is through Jack Bauer's gun.

- Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

- Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

- People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

- It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.

- Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

- Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why theres no life on Mars.

- When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer

- Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better f*cking do it.

Roll On Series 5 which starts on Sunday! :-D Now all I've to do is find a TV that has Sky!

This arrived via email today [thanks Ellie!]

1) 10p Mr Frosty Ice Pops on long summer days!
2) Gordon the Gopher!
3) You could do or tried to do the Prodigy step. 'You're no good 4 me....'
4) You owned or longed for an Adidas three stripe tracksuit
5) You owned a compilation tape with TOP TUNES such as "Mr Vain", "What is love" and "Rhythm is a dancer" and 'How Bizarre, How Bizarre"
6) Girls thought Blue Mascara was cool!
7) Girls actually fancied Garry Barlow more than Robbie Williams
8) The Racoons! (nuff said)
9) You owned a pair of Nike Air Max, and wore them to death
10) Mr Motivator (What ever happened to him?)
11) Running on the spot dancing!
12) You wore leggings/cycling shorts with long t-shirts
13) You owned a Bennetton, NafNaf, sweater shop jumper or waistcoat
14) Girls owned scrunchies in an array of colours and tacky headbands with their names written on in thick glitter
16) You bought Smash Hits for the song lyrics and the immense amount of stickers that you would stick everywhere!
17) You had a pen pal
18) You could only watch the Simpson's on sky
19) On a Saturday afternoon you watched Catchphrase, Gladiators, Generation Game, Noels House Party and then Casualty
20) You taped the Pepsi Chartshow on radio one and tired in vain to pause the tape before the annoying guy talked and ruined the whole thing.
21) Cans of Coke were 25p
22) 10p Space Raiders Crisps
23) A grey Fruit of the Loom jumper was a must have
24) Sharkie & George were the crimebusters of the sea
25) Puffa jackets
26) You used the line "it's a free country" every day
27) The Sky sports Blimp!
28) Impulse body spray for girls
29) Hooch Alcoholic Lemonade (where's it gone?!)
30) 'Don't forget your toothbrush', 'TFI' and Big Breakfast with Chris Evans
31) You had at least one troll
32) You know the dance to Macarena and Saturday Night. You also tried to scat like Scatman John! Bi bat ba ba da bo...
33) You watched Baywatch and longed for the day that Eddie & Sharni got together!
34) You watched Byker Grove 'ha ha ha whatcha laughin at!'(the Theme song ending), and saw PJ get shot in the eye with a paintball
35) PJ and Duncan not Ant and Dec! Dodgy Pop Not Dodgy Presenting!
36) Shellsuits & bumbags!
37) You longed to live in Beverley Hills 90210
38) Home and Away was a prime time ITV programe watched by millions
39) You owned a Spice Girls album
40) Fruit salads and black jacks!
41) Strike it lucky on a sunday night with Michael Barrymore when he was straight & married
42) Chain letters
43) You had fake ID
44) You remember Todd Landers in Neighbours
45) You religiously watched Saved by the Bell on a Saturday morning!
46) You more than likely lost/nearly lost a wobbly tooth on a wham bar!!
47) CK one (probably the fake one from the market)
48) Going Live, then Live and Kicking was the place to be on a Saturday Morning - you know you remember the number 0181 811 8181
49) You knew every word to the theme tune from Fresh Prince of Bel Air
50) You collected Premier League Stickers and did swoops at playtime
51) Girls wore crappy lipstick such as - coffee shimmer, heather shimmer and birthday suit!
52) You wore kickers and wallaby's with the tags hanging from them
53) You thought saying - "I know you are, you said you are but what am I" to every cuss that that came your way was so cool!
54) "love got the world in motion" with the John Barnes Rap
55) when you used to run away from some thing and shout 'leg iiiiiitt'
56) Had laces that were twirly, so tied themselves; only available is bright fluorescent colours
57) You had one of those ethnic striped indie tops - probably in purple.
58) You said lush at least once every hour and everything was cool.
59) Status was achieved and judged by the number of friendship bands you had.
60) Hair mascara in blue, red, blonde and purple
61) East 17!!!! With Tony Mortimer…
62) The Suncream song (does anyone know the real name?!)
64) POGS!!!!!!!!!

Came across this video today [Caution - it's a Quicktime file]. It's a very amusing look at "Windows Vista". If anyone reading thinks "Why the **** is this funny?" - It's a Mac that's being used in this spoof! :-D

This arrived via email a few weeks ago [thanks Claire!]. Leave your scores in the comments. I'll do mine at some stage, but if you don't understand any of these, please be polite in the comments! ;-)

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A MUSICAL GEEK IF . . .

1. your favorite pickup line is, "What's your favorite augmented sixth chord?"
2. you can look at a piece by J.S. Bach and say, "You know, I think he could have gotten a much better effect this way"
3. you like to march around your room to the rhythms of Stravinsky's "Le Sacre du Printemps."
4. you love to quote Walter Piston.
5. you long for the good old days of movable G-clefs.
6. you like polytonal music because, hey, the more keys the merrier.
7. you dream in four parts.
8. you feel the need to end Tchaikovsky's "Pathetique" Symphony with a Picardy third.
9. you can improvise 16th century counterpoint with no trouble, but you frequently forget how to tie your shoes.
10. you lament the decline of serialism.
11. you enjoy the tang of a tritone whenever you can.
12. you like to deceive your friends and loved ones with deceptive cadences.
13. you only drink fifths, and then you laugh at the pun.
14. instead of counting sheep, you count sequences.
15. you only sing tunes that make good fugal subjects.
16. you find free counterpoint too liberal.
17. Mussorgsky's "Hopak" gives you nightmares.
18. you wonder what a "Danish Sixth" would sound like.
19. the "Corelli Clash" gives you goosebumps.
20. you can hear an enharmonic modulation coming a mile away.
21. you have ever done a Schenkerian analysis on "Three Blind Mice."
22. you have ever tried to do a Schenkerian analysis on John Cage's 4'33".
23. you have hosted a "Gurrelieder" party.
24. you have ever pondered what an augmented seventh chord would sound like.
25. bass motion by ascending thirds or a sequential pattern with roots in ascending fifths immediately strikes you as "belabored."
26. you know what the ninth overtone of the harmonic series is off the top of your head.
27. you can name ten of Palestrina's contemporaries.
28. you can answer your phone with a tonal or a real answer.
29. you have ever heard a wrong note in a performance of a piece by Berio, Boulez, or Stockhausen.
30. you suspiciously check all the music you hear for dangling sevenths.
31. when you're feeling particularly prankish, you transpose Mozart arias to locrian mode.
32. you keep a notebook of useful diminutions.
33. those "parasitic" dissonances make you queasy, especially when left unresolved.
34. you have composed variations on a theme by Anton Webern.
35. you know the difference between a Courante and a Corrente.
36. you have trained your dog to jump through a flaming circle of fifths.
37. you have ever used the word "fortspinnung" in polite conversation.
38. you feel cheated by evaded cadences.
39. you have a poster of Allen Forte in your room.
40. you know who Allen Forte is.
41. every now and then you like to kick back and play something in hypophrygian mode.
42. you wonder why there aren't more types of seventh chords
43. you wish you had twelve fingers.
44. you abbreviate your shopping list using figured bass.
45. you always make sure to invert your counterpoint, just in case.
46. you have ever told a joke that had this punchline: "...because it was POLYPHONIC!"
47. you know dirty acronyms for the order of sharps.
48. you consider all music written between 1750 and 1920 to be "rather elementary."
49. you memorize dates and times by what they would sound like in set theory.
50. you not only can identify any one of Bach's 371 Harmonized Chorales by ear, but you also know on what page it appears in the Riemenschneider edition and how many suspensions it has in the first seven bars.
51. you got more than half of the jokes in this list.

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Bill, Bill, Bill. No-one want windows everywhere! [I don't want it anywhere]. The BBC has an article about his speech at the Consumer Electronics Show, and I disagree with the notion of Windows everywhere. Here's a favourite amusing story of mine:

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the car industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.”
In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating, “If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they painted new lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought “CarXP,” but then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive — but it would only run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and warning lights would all be replaced by a single “general protection fault” warning light.
8. The airbag system would ask, “Are you sure?” before deploying.
9. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the antenna.
10. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally Road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50 percent or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
11. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
12. You’d have to press the “start” button to turn the engine off.

Well said GM!

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